Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Drama Drama

After the nightmare that was this afternoon I came home from my college classes to even more irrationalities. This time in reaction to the consequences with the fight with my dad (Did I really expect to get out of this without being grounded? No. Was I right? Yes.).
This has been bugging me a for a while. Why do some people just go along taking what comes and absorbing it, not taking it personally, maybe hurting inside but never vocalizing it? Why do others take everything as an affront to themselves, squalling when they assume they have been wronged?
Maybe I'm being harsh. I'll put it less personally. Why do some people bottle it all in (disregarding all the school counselors who insist it's unhealthy ) and why do other people wear their hearts on their sleeves?
I've never had any patience with the latter. It's honestly not like I go about my day wondering what I should do in this master plan to hurt the people I care about. I'm way too self absorbed, I am on a blog for goodness sakes. Am I really the only person in my social circle who assumes that other people do things for their own personal reasons that have nothing to do with me? Am I wrong? Has everyone else been orchestrating an elaborate plan to stress me to such a high degree that my head will actually burst out through my eardrums? If so, it's working.

Wow, here I am whining while the leader of one of the largest terrorist groups in the world has just died. It's big news but it's not going to change anything. Not here, in my corner of the United States and not even the rest of the world. I am going to keep going, and the Taliban is going to keep going. Did we really think this was it? It's over just like that? Not a chance.

Head Colds

Have you every gotten really angry?
Like with your face turning red, hair flying, tears streaming down your face , and the words coming out so fast that you choke on them?
Have you had to cough so hard afterward from the shear force of your words that you felt like you were almost going to throw up?
Have your tears ever made your nose run so much you needed a roll of paper towels once the tissues ran out?
Have you ever wanted to blow your nose so hard it bleeds?

I don't know. I don't think I even have time to have this fight, let alone fix what was wrong.

The worst part is, this afternoon started so great. I completely ACED my AP CompSci test and I was going to treat my dad to ice cream as a late Birthday present (he turned 70 yesterday) and a celebratory snack. It was going to be really great because we haven't kept ice cream in the house since his heart attack last February.
Then this had to happen.
Awesome, another potentially productive afternoon down the drain where all I want to do now is curl up in a corner of my bed and sob some more. But, as I mentioned before, there is no way I have enough time for a frivolity like that. I'll be so glad when summer comes.